


Bergamot and Carrots

by blancpeony



Category: James Bond (Craig movies), Skyfall (2012) - Fandom, Zootopia (2016)
Genre: Gen, animal!Bond, animal!q
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-16
Updated: 2016-05-16
Packaged: 2018-06-08 19:14:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6870025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blancpeony/pseuds/blancpeony
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A strange mysterious case that briefly involves the Zootopia Police Department and just as quickly leaves their hands.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bergamot and Carrots

**Author's Note:**

> A rather pointless story to indulge the idea of Q and James in Zootopia's world with Q-Branch being Q-Branch.
> 
> Edit: Should also mention this is probably OOC since gritty!Bond doesn't mesh quite well with the Disney cute. Dorks. All of them.

Officer Judy Hopps was not having a stellar day.

 

A bullet whizzed past her ears and embedded into the wall behind her.

 

Accidentally stumbling upon a bank heist by crazed gun-toting zebras? Yep. Definitely less than stellar.

 

“Any ideas?” she hissed past the maniac laughter. “We're walking targets at this rate!”

 

“When was the last time Zootopia had a shoot out like this?” Across from her, huddled underneath a desk, Officer Nick Wilde grumbled, “Think. Think. Think. We need a distraction.”

 

Judy scanned the perimeter, taking in the sight of civilians in different levels of distress. In particular, a cape fox was inching out of his hiding place, almost as if he was about to make a dash for the exit.

 

“No...Don't you dare...” Narrowing her eyes, she waited.

 

Across the room, one of the zebras taunted, “Come out come out wherever you are, kit...”

 

The fur of the cape fox visibly bristled, tail tucked close to their body.

 

“Nick – Nick-!” She jerked her head towards the cape fox as she caught her companion's attention. “I think he's going to try and run.”

 

“Right. I've got your back.” Nick grabbed his taser and the high-backed office chair on wheels, quickly rigging the taser onto the chair with the taser generating enough electricity to knockover an elephant. “On three.”

 

One of the zebras went closer and closer to their position. “Where are you, you little fox?”

 

“One.”

 

Judy stilled, muscles tensing.

 

“Two.”

 

Nick readied the grip on his weapon of choice.

 

“Three!”

 

She leaped out of her hiding spot, springing past the bullets aimed at her, and slammed into the cape fox. His laptop bag went skittering out of his grip as he grunted, landing flat on his stomach, and exclaimed crossly, “What are you doing?!”

 

“Get down! Do you have a death wish or something?!” Ears twitching upwards, her senses went into overdrive, even as the fox beneath her paws tried to escape.

 

“No I don't.” He rolled her off and brushed down his cardigan, barely flinching when another bullet went wide.

 

The young officer bit back the urge to shake the crazy animal. “Where's your self-preservation instinct?”

 

Adjusting his glasses, green eyes glinted from her to his bag, now exposed to the criminals. “It made a last hurrah when a colleague tried to wrap his claws around my head as part of a bet. Not too keen to try that again, I might add.”

 

“What?” Judy hoped her expression didn't give way her bewilderment but she didn't think she was too successful, judging by the smirk.

 

“Now if you'll excuse me.” The fox went into a crouch and edged closer past his hiding spot again just as Judy snapped a set of handcuffs on his wrist and attached the other end to the desk.

 

Hands on her hips, feet tapping, she scolded, “Forget it. Sir. Stay behind this desk and don't move.”

 

“You handcuffed me.” The fox gently tugged at the contraption, baffled.

 

“And you were about to be shot and made into Swiss cheese. You're welcome, by the way.” She turned and surveyed the progressing scene; Nick managed to incapacitate one of the attackers even as the others finally started to circle the desks and corral the civilians into a corner. Still, four zebras remained. She hoped back-up was arriving soon.

 

The cape fox heaved a put-upon sigh and whispered urgently, “Listen to me. Those zebras are here for that bag over there.”

 

“What do you...Are you telling me that you're who they're looking for?” She frowned. “Don't worry sir. As an officer of the Zootopia Police Department, it is my duty to protect you.”

 

“Not me. They don't need me. They need the _bag_.” Murmuring under his breath, Judy caught the tail end of his derision. “...part of the family _Leoporidae_. An _Oryctolagus cuniculus_ , if I'm not mistaken. Can hear but not comprehend...”

 

The officer poked his chest. Rude. “Excuse you. And you're a fox that smells like bergamot. What kind of fox smells like citrus fruit?”

 

“And you smell like carrots; bergamot is at least more sophisticated.”

 

“Why you-!” Affronted, Judy turned towards the troublemaker, just as the shadows of an approaching enemy stretched over them. She quickly managed to pull them both into the alcove of the desk, even as the fox muffled a grunt when his handcuffed arm was uncomfortably pulled backwards.

 

He hissed, “My bag-”

 

“Quiet!” Judy covered his mouth, heart beating much too fast.

 

“Look what I found boys!” The zebra must have snagged the bag. “Let's go. The boss is-sahhh!”

 

A series of gunfire echoed through the atrium. They could hear furniture breaking, pained grunts and falling bodies before, seconds later, it became unnaturally still.

 

Until her partner's voice broke the silence.

 

“Hopps!”

 

-wherein the civilians started panicking and bawling again as well.

 

“Over here Wilde!”

 

“You okay?” He skittered to a stop and at her nod, quickly pulled her out and away. “This random cat just went all martial arts on them. One of the stripes ran off and he gave chase.”

 

The fox left behind yelped, “Hey! Aren't you going to release me?”

 

“Sorry. No time. I'll come back.” Judy gave the unconscious zebras on the ground a passing glance – not fully processing the amount of damage in front of her – before she was hauled by the wrist.

 

“Come on Hopps! They're getting away.”

 

“Right. Let's go.”

 

* * *

 

“I think this might be up there as one of the strangest and most dangerous cases yet,” sighed Nick as he leaned back in his chair, legs crossed and resting on his desk.

 

Judy tapped the keyboard fiercely as she tried to word her report. “At least we were able to apprehend the five zebras and that vigilante.”

 

“Still don't get how it happened.” The red fox snorted gaily, “Spots and that stripe that escaped got caught in a giant wad of bubblegum that was so sticky and strong they had to bring in the shark jaws of life.”

 

“They had them in interrogation for hours now too and all they could get out of the leopard was his name.” She pitched her voice lower. "Bond. James Bond." Rolling her shoulders in agitation, she continued, “And that fox!”

 

“Hey now.”

 

“You know who I mean, Nick.”

 

“Yeah. Just making sure.” At her eyeroll, Nick grinned, all teeth. “I don't know. Maybe he was a ghost.”

 

“Who you and I both hallucinated? Well with the bank's security cameras on the fritz and conveniently not capturing any footage of the attack...”

 

“At least forensic's got that laptop bag everyone's after.”

 

“Still! That fox escaped by breaking my handcuffs.” Judy crossed her arms. “He _melted_ them. Who even _does_ that?!”

 

Officer Clawhauser poked his head past their office door, grinning, “Hey you two.”

 

“Hey Benjamin.”

 

“You guys. Someone just came in and demanded an appointment with Chief Bogo.”

 

Nick raised an eyebrow, twirling his pen absentmindedly. “I'm assuming something's different about this one.”

 

“Yeah well, I obviously denied him first since the Chief's schedule is very full but the thing is, just as I finished my sentence, the Chief called me and told me to bring the guest to his office!”

 

“Not following. So he's a mind reader. Nothing new.” Nick grinned just as their cheetah friend growled.

 

“That's not it. Minutes after, I'm escorting them down to the detention centre where the zebras and that snow leopard are kept.” Clawhauser rushed his words. “The Chief looked like he swallowed a lemon. He apologized to them...We're letting the snow leopard go and they're taking the evidence with them!”

 

“What!” Startled, Hopps sat up and ran out the office door with Wilde and Clawhauser following.

 

They ran to the lobby area at breakneck speeds, just in time to see Chief Bogo at the front desk, talking to-

 

“Bergamot!”

 

* * *

 

“Bergamot!”

 

“Why _Quinn_...I didn't know you had _another_ name,” purred the voice above his head.

 

“ _Bond_.” Sighing, Q waved at 'Carrots' and turned back towards Chief Bogo. “If you'll excuse us.”

 

“Of course.” The buffalo grumbled and very nearly shooed them out the door. Clearly, the fact that M pulled more than just a few strings to have the Zootopian's 'domestic' case transferred to foreign powers irked the Chief to no end.

 

As they exited the building with no resistance, Q murmured, “Stop moping.”

 

Bond stalked behind him, a quiet looming shadow with patchy fur.

 

“Your pelt will grow back in no time, Bond.” The cape fox tucked his tail over his laptop bag that was once more in his possession. “Besides, you're the one who grabbed that prototype off my desk in the first place.”

 

“Who even gave you that idea-?” With his tail lashing and ears pinned back, most civilians gave Bond a wide berth. It took several beats before the snow leopard snarled, “Three months ago. Gum was stuck to the back of your head.”

 

“Thank you for reminding me of that childish prank.” Q tried to placate his overprotective agent, tossing him the car keys."But you see - no bald spot. It grew back." He ever-so-helpfully tilted his head forward and ruffled the fur there.

 

Eying Q's rather thick pelt enviously, the leopard grumbled, "You didn't lose all the fur on your paws and back and neck."

 

“Well. It's effective, is it not? It's rather a pain to remove from fur so what if it became something like a covalent bond? A weapon to _gum_ up an enemy's escape route and _gumming_ them in their tracks.”

 

007 was stoic even as Q giggle-snorted at his own joke.

 

“Q.”

 

“Quite.” He strapped on his seat belt, patting at his laptop bag. “Let's head back to the hotel. Now that we have their data, we can find their linchpin for this operation.”

 

Tossing his younger companion a sly look, James smirked, “For the record, I think I'd rather be sent off with a gun and a radio than that _gum_ traption.”

 

Q couldn't hold back his second unprofessional giggle of the night.

 


End file.
